Seminary

I have just graduated with a Masters of Theology. I started this blog a long time ago so that I could process the call experience. I haven’t kept up with it. So here is my trying to do better. I did a lot of academic work processing my spiritual life through course work. I hope to go back and use some of these papers to highlight what I have learned and the new questions I have about all of it. Let’s get started. Here is the statement of purpose when I entered seminary. Next time – I will reflect a bit on this statement and what happened.

Picture this – Summer 2009, I am sitting on a rock in the middle of Center Pond. The sky is that light blue of fake movie sets. The clouds are puffy and soft, pushed by the gentle breeze that causes a soft ripple on the water’s surface. The sun hits my skin like a warm hug from the creator. Across the way there are sheep eating the greenest grass, the utterance of a few bahhhhhhh’s enhances this perfect moment. Reluctantly, I jump into the cold New Hampshire waters of early summer, surrendering to God’s call for my life. Back at music camp, I play pieces that transformed my heart and unlocked a place of resistance to the ways the Holy Spirit had been calling. I was destined for a long journey, but I was sure that this journey would lead to ordained ministry in the Episcopal Church: Baptizing, celebrating the Eucharist, proclaiming the Gospel and forming disciples. 

I began my discernment process in Vermont, but moved home to Brooklyn and pursued the ordination process in the Diocese of Long Island. By the fall of 2012, I received a rejection letter, “the ministry to which you feel called is not one the priesthood would prepare you for.” While devastated, I stayed invested in the church. “If it’s not priesthood, then what?” I would scream at Jesus in my prayers because me and God were not on speaking terms. The response, “remember when you surrendered, yeah well, this is surrender.” 

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit spoke quickly. I came in contact with leaders in the church that would guide me on a path of discovery. This process would challenge my imagined, perfectly paved road to reach God’s call. Canon Myra Garnes, Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries in the Diocese of Long Island gave me space to explore what lay leadership could look like. We worked together to design learning experiences that allowed young people to explore and utilize their voice. We pushed their comfort zones and engaged them in difficult conversations about faith’s impact on race, gender, and sexuality. These were mostly children of Caribbean immigrants who had been told that good behavior was silent behavior. While my strength is not Youth Ministry, it was a significant step in melding my professional life with my faith practice. 

The second leader that I worked with was the Rev. Canon Stephanie Spellers. Her book Radical Welcome combined my two seemingly disparate worlds into a cohesive expression of Christ’s love: social justice and religious practice. It codified how the church could walk with and be transformed by those on the margins. In my professional life at the University of Vermont, I often hid the religious understandings that compelled me to engage in justice oriented projects. But this book sparked a transformation for me to push myself and my community. I was better able to engage my “disillusioned by religion” friends as they joined me for worship and

conversations about the relevance of our rituals and ceremonies in creating God’s dream of equity and inclusion. But it also pushed me to challenge my church friends to go beyond the routines of worship and club membership. 

Canon Spellers’ invitation to join the Ministry Development Committee allowed me to co-create curriculum that further integrated my professional skills with my religion. I was able to utilize my skills as a facilitator, advisor and educator for congregational development and formation. It is through these experiences that I have landed on my current professional role. I now work with Episcopalians as they respond to needs of neighbors after a disaster. In particular, we focus on the needs of those that fall through the crack of traditional disaster response systems. So here I am sitting in one of many hotel rooms I have been in this year writing a personal statement for Union Theological Seminary’s Masters in Theology, with a concentration in practical theology: church/religion and society. I believe that it is the right time in my life to incorporate formalized education in theology with my practical experiences in supporting the church as it builds itself into a space of true healing for our world. 

It is time for me to step into my full potential, be challenged in a rigorous academic environment, and formulate the theological skills to go beyond the informal theories of change that I have developed in my personal and professional engagement with the church. It is time for leaders, like me, to go beyond being interesting and implement institutional changes that allow the church to live into Christ’s call for us. We must use the Master’s tools to destroy the Master’s house and recycle the leftover materials for a new thing. 

I believe study at Union will transform my personal faith practice and open my heart to discovery by finding joy in the winding unpaved nature of following Jesus. My hope is that it will push me to be a better professional by challenging my comfort zones and grounding my lived experience in theological and biblical history. What I desire most is intentional and structured time to learn and deepen my understanding of God and the impact of religious communities in building a more equitable world. Seminary will give me this space to explore the various professional opportunities that tap into my gift of supporting leaders as they discern, strategize and implement God’s vision for our world. I seek to join seminary to learn, grow and be transformed so that I am better equipped to teach, advise and support safe spaces of institutional transformation.