Do you know that moment when you feel so developmentally appropriate that is annoys you? I’m about to hit 33 and I call it my Jesus year–crucifixion and resurrection seem to be knocking at my door like a delivery man.
From a career standpoint, I am trying to reconcile my desire to do good in the world and feel useful and smart with what I do at work.
In my personal life, I am still in search of a husband and a baby in that order.
Also from a live your life perspective: I am in a bassoon trio, teach music, go out with friends, and try to do something entertaining and interesting whenever I get a chance.
BUT WHERE SHOULD I FOCUS? HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME? WHAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT? WHAT IS ID, WHAT IS EGO, WHAT IS REAL?
Something about coming up to this 33 number is really hammering these questions at me. It seems and feel developmentally appropriate to be digging into these questions at this time. I know what I like and don’t like. I feel confident in knowing who I am–strengths and weaknesses. I guess the 30’s are focused on figuring out what actions to take based on this information.
You know how they say, once you know, you have to act–I feel a strong need to act–I am not sure that the actions I wish to engage in are actually going to yield positive or helpful results…I guess only time will tell.
In the meantime, I’m attempting to learn to listen, feel and be open to the difficulties that accompany the Jesus year. In a couple of weeks we will be celebrate the Birth of Christ. We are in a time of anticipating the light. My priest asked on the first sunday of Advent–what are you waiting for? What light is your heart yearning for this advent season. Honestly, I am not sure what it might be…part of me wants to say a man-that feels right. Part of me says I want a man because I want love and companionship, part of me says, none of that will actually be the real solution. But right now, a good date with a man will do…y’all pray for me as embark on this new year’s journey.
Pursuing Call 