The greatest gift I am learning from the discernment process is patience. To sit for 45 minutes to an hour and listen to another person’s story is a forced method of listening. But how do I listen, what do I hear? The goal is to listen without judgement and that is probably the most difficult piece. It is very hard to hear people say a variety of things and not react. But forced silence has helped me greatly. After years of trying to monitor my responses to people, I have learned that it can only happen when one sits still and listens. I have to dig into why this thing is bothering me so much. What is the deeper pain below the snark? Once I understand this, I can begin to respond from a place of love and true understanding rather than judgement and frustration.
One thing that came up during our gatherings is the concept of saying, “I’m blessed and highly favored.” The person who spoke about this comment is a very nice person. Probably more evangelical in the historic sense than I am. This person’s work seems to positively impact their community and they have talents that are beneficial for the church. However, that phrase causes an intense reaction for me. At the time I didn’t know how to ask a question about this statement, but here’s my attempt.
THE ISSUES
When I have heard people say, “I am blessed and highly favored,” what I have heard at the end of that statement is “and you are not.” My own feelings of inadequacy as a Christian in outward practice feels attacked. And for those who do not practice my religious tradition, I have also seen them feel alienated by such words. There is an act of claiming ones blessings that I envy. To proclaim that you are a child of God and blessed in this way–even when the world is a mess, is a beautiful thing. However, how does one make that statement in a way that doesn’t alienate, but embraces that all are blessed by the gifts of the creator. That to wake up and take breath is a blessed thing. How can I in that statement, proclaim that I am filled with the Holy Spirit and she (the holy spirt) is attempting to connect to you too, or maybe she is living in your too.
The second layer is “highly favored.” I think this phrase stings more than anything else. Conceptually, to be highly favored means that there are some who are not highly favored. From a literal point of view, we can’t all be highly favored, if we are all highly favored then we would just all be favored. And if we are all favored, then we are just here; no favoritism would be present. Favored comes from the concept of having a favorite: one that is elevated higher than another.
SIDE NOTE: The idea that God raises up some more than others contrasts my understanding of God. I believe that God is trying to work in all of us to be the best of ourselves, to share our talents with others so that our world will work better and bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. (Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven). The problem is that God gave us this thing called free will, so we can choose to listen to that small quiet voice guiding us in the right way or we can choose to ignore that annoying thing and move on with our lives. There is always a choice. If we choose to follow the spirit, there will be wonderful and beautiful results–not that it’s gonna be an easy road, but the results will be awesome
THE CONCLUSION:
Maybe we can come up with a new phrase that exhibits the essence of what I think is trying to be said, “I am feeling the power of God in my spirit and so I walk this earth without want. I feel so connected to God and his will that my soul feel congruent with the will of God. I know that God has a plan for you too and I pray that you too are walking in this spirit of alignment between will and choice.”
Now I don’t know if that is exactly what that phrase is actually saying. But that’s what I am going to go with. If others have interpretations of this phrase, I would love to hear how you feel about it. What are some other ways we can say, “I am blessed and highly favored, and so are you”, instead of “I am blessed and highly favored, and you are not.” How do we convey one’s intent and recognize the possible impact? So that’s a lot, but I really am asking. It’s something I contemplate a lot. How does one demonstrate faith practice in a way that embrace rather than alienate and stratify society.
Pursuing Call 