This is the phrase that comes up ever so often in this process of discernment—there’s no rush. But once you have heard a call, it’s been confirmed by others, it feels urgent. I feel a burn in my belly that now I know what I am supposed to be doing with my life, building a community of people who are in need of love and seek it from God. It’s kind of an amazing life.
I am reading Paulo Coelho who always puts me in a place. It’s a peaceful place. I realized that if I decide that at this moment, working a grinding job where I get paid well and have my own place allows me to create a space for me and others. This is exactly where I want to be at this moment.
I do desire life companionship and it would be great to have a different kind of love as I go through this process. But discernment is about surrender and vulnerability and opening to what is possible. The discovery of the true self–that’s a lot of work.
It’s morning at work and I am trying to recover from hanging with a fabulous person yesterday. I had dinner with the new Youth Ministry director of Long Island and it is wonderful to begin the building of new relationships and connections in this diocese. Long Island is a complex place where one experiences complex emotions. To love something even though you see the faults of this moment and this place is an interesting experience. In many ways I went through the same thing in VT when I started going there…seeing all that is wrong with a place before seeing all that is wonderful. I guess that is what Coehlo is talking about in the book. The other is the bitter person that refuses to see the beauty in life, that is not my true self. How will I manifest this truth in my everyday life? I will begin to invite the me that is hiding to emerge and be ok with the consequences of encountering and loving that which is me.
5.10.12 The irony of this post is that the discernment process in long Island is much faster and I realized this after I had made peace with a long slow process…but now I am still awaiting an e-mail from the diocese that I should have received three weeks ago. God’s time…
Pursuing Call 