At that time you will be given what to say, 20 for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. (Matthew 10:19:20)
This weekend I went to a retirement event for the Rev. Ken Poppe. This is the second priest retirement I have been to in the past three years. I never really thought of a priest leaving active ministry, but apparently its not just a lifestyle, but a job too. As I sat at the dinner, I asked Bishop Ely a joking or maybe not so joking question, “What do you have to tell a Bishop to let you pursue the priesthood?” And he said something very important and true, “just speak from your heart what you believe God is calling you to do and everything will work out.”
As the passage says above, trust in the spirit of God to speak through you. If I am truly called, then it will not be a difficult thing to speak. And when I am in my most submissive space, and allow space for the spirit to speak, I no longer have to make up an agenda. Allowing the spirit to work through you is better than coffee or a delicious glass of wine. It is truly an out of body experience. I experience this feeling most when playing music in a religious context. This past good friday I played at church. At the beginning I played for perfection which of course caused a variety of wrong notes. So I let go and said, well f- it. And the spirit was allowed space to take over. I don’t actually remember how or in what way the music happened, it just did. And all were touched, mostly myself. I have a mentor who once told me to just go around saying how blessed I am to have this or that thing, particularly when I don’t want it. The weird outcome, I am so content at this moment.
“God is with me. God is in me. God is all around me, helping me through the mess.” (I don’t remember who I stole this from, but I did so don’t quote me.)
Pursuing Call 